In Toxic Mythology (© 2015), I spent one chapter discussing the difference between someone being “antisocial” and someone being introverted, quiet, or reserved. The terms are used interchangeably in non-psychology circles. Someone wants to stay home with a book instead of going out to a party, and their friends or family accuse them of being, “antisocial,” or, perhaps worse, a “Loner,” as if being naturally quiet was a dangerous character flaw leading, ineluctably, to pathology and dysfunction. Not so much.

As many of you know, “antisocial” is the newer term for what used to be called sociopathy or psychopathy. It means a person who is against (anti) society. The antisocial person (ASP, for short, here) feels no remorse or empathy and views others as merely a means to the ASP’s ends. Quiet/introverted people usually have very close relationships – with a few people. They like people, and they recharge their batteries via quiet times and discussions with one or a few, rather than many. An extrovert recharges by being around people. These traits are on a continuum; on one end is the rare, very highly introverted person; on the other, the rare, extremely extroverted person. We find most people closer to the middle, with a preference in one direct or the other. This is a biological trait, not something people pick.

Because ASPs can be charming, outgoing and generally fun to be around, a lot of people get fooled – and burned. Do some homework; learn to identify the warning signs that someone may be not as nice as they seem, and learn to differentiate between the kind, quiet person in your world and the person who is troubled and, possibly, troublesome.

That could make it a very, very good year!

Dr. Lori Puterbaugh

© 2016

Posts are for information and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed to be therapeutic advice. If you are in need of mental health assistance, please contact a licensed professional in your area.